Feelings & Reflections
Being circumcised isn't just a physical event; it can also bring up a wide range of complex emotions, especially because it's irreversible. The experience can sometimes lead to strong feelings or difficult reflections. Here, I want to share some common themes and my own perspective, hoping it helps others. Please remember, this is about sharing experiences, not providing therapy.
A Sense of Loss or Feeling Physically Altered
Permanently changing the body, especially removing a part known to be sensitive, can lead some of us to feel a sense of loss, incompleteness, or even that our body has been mutilated. It's a feeling that something significant is missing or different from how it 'should' be.
Being circumcised can trigger a feeling of loss and missing out, as circumcision cannot be reversed, and some very erogenous tissue is removed.
My Personal Experience: I was circumcised as an adult (at 33), and therefore I remember what it was like to be intact. Because of that 'before' and 'after', I sometimes truly miss my foreskin and wish I hadn't gone through with it. Knowing what was lost means I sometimes struggle with this feeling of loss even now.
For those cut as infants, the feeling might manifest differently – perhaps less as direct 'loss' of a known state, but more as a sense of being different, or connecting physical frustrations (like sensation issues) to the circumcision itself.
Lack of Choice
Most circumcised men underwent the procedure as infants or children, based on a decision made by their parents. Coming to terms with this lack of bodily autonomy can be challenging and might lead to feelings like:
A sense of frustration or powerlessness over a permanent body modification.
Anger or resentment towards parents or the decision-makers, even if you understand their intentions might have been good. I've certainly read and heard from guys who struggle with this anger.
A need to understand the 'why' behind the decision (religious, cultural, medical beliefs at the time).
It's natural for this lack of control over your own body to bring up negative thoughts sometimes.
Many boys are circumcised as infants, sometimes within the first few days after birth. This means that they cannot consent to being cut.
Accepting Your Feelings & Seeking Support
If you experience feelings like sadness, anger, grief, or frustration related to your circumcision, please know your feelings are valid. In my opinion, having these thoughts from time to time is a normal part of processing the experience for many guys. Acknowledging them without judging yourself is important.
Sometimes, simply sharing experiences and knowing you're not alone (the goal of spaces like this) can be helpful.
When to Seek Professional Support
However, there's a difference between occasional reflections and persistent, overwhelming distress. If these feelings:
dominate your thoughts constantly,
significantly impact your mood, daily life, or relationships,
make it hard to maintain a generally positive outlook,
then I strongly encourage you to seek support from a qualified mental health professional (like a therapist, counselor, or psychologist). They have the skills to help you handle these emotions constructively. This website is not a substitute for professional mental healthcare.
Understanding and processing our feelings about our bodies and experiences is a journey. Be patient with yourself, and don't hesitate to seek the right kind of support when you need it.
Any comments or questions? Are negative emotions and thoughts sometimes a problem?
Please leave a comment below, or contact me directly (at contact@circlifestyle.com or contact form)
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